Friday night and we’re off to hang with some friends.  It is easy, we just walk out the door when we’re ready to leave.

Am I supposed to enjoy the freedom I don’t want, or lament the confines I don’t have?

I refuse to stop living my life but I’m almost disgusted by how easy it is for either of us to do whatever we want.

Friends juggle their lives four-handed to keep up with everything their family requires and in contrast there I stand.  Loose.  Lonely.  A little lost without Silas, every time.

I can come and go.  I can change plans on the fly or completely check out if I need to. What would so many parents give to have that ease and freedom, sometimes?

I know what I would give to have things the other way.

Or almost, anyways.  Except for Lu.  She’s mine forever, too.

Then out we go. Two in bodies into the cold, and three in our hearts every time.