I’m hoping we’re in our second to last side-effect of pregnancy.  That’s what I’m looking for, here.  This current side-effect of pregnancy: carpal tunnel and then the last side-effect of pregnancy: labor.   We need to get this done with and move on to the next phase of things.

Phase: Baby.  I’m ready, she’s ready, the apartment isn’t ready and the baby isn’t either but it’s clear that the time is approaching fast.  Right?  Please?  And no more weird extra bonus experiences.  Waking up to Lu nearly crying in pain because of her wrists is quite horrible.

Maybe it’s an automatic defense mechanism, though.  Maybe the body is teaching her a bit about pain.  Maybe the achy wrists are a tactic by her body to draw attention away from the astounding growth of life in her midsection.  Or maybe the pressure on her median nerve has increased because pregnancy causes everything to swell.

My wife is not a large person and there is not much space left to go.  She’s gone for the night visiting friends in Jersey, but when she gets back I’m certain there will be a visible difference.  I know she can do anything she needs to until that baby is ready for this world.  However, I can’t help but blink when I see what is going on beneath the tattooed flower around her belly’s button.

A baby grows there and we don’t know if it’s a boy or girl.  We don’t know what kind of person this child will be.  I have no idea what unfathomable series of events this baby will encounter.  I can only hope that they will be as amazing, as beautiful, as challenging and as so damn much fun as my life has been so far.  I hope the pain is less but always instructive.  I hope the anguish is less sharp but equally transformative.   I hope for so much.

Right now more than anything, I hope that Lu’s arms stop hurting and that crazy insane side-effects of pregnancy just back off and let her do the rest of this in peace.

Because after this, peacefulness falls into beautiful chaos.  Chaos is a side-effect of baby, obviously, but the biggest side-effect of a baby is that everything is changed utterly.

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