So far I’ve gone 33 years without changing a diaper. My bro tried to get me to change Oren’s a while back. And every time we see them at one point or another there’s an offer for me to step up and grab the tape. I’m not adverse to doing it. I will happily change Oren’s diaper many times, but just not quite yet.

I’ve gone 33 years without changing a diaper, and I’m about 6 months away from doing it for my own child for the first time ever. I think I’ll keep this no-hitter going, and then start a diaper changing streak right around October 1.

Sure, practice might be nice, but I’m certain I’ll have plenty of time for that in the coming months. They start to potty train right around a year or so, right? Right?

Wait you’re telling me I have to unwrap, re-wrap and then dispose of a tiny human’s feces for the next 3 years? That’s madness! Isn’t there a website that can do this for us by now?

I will have to change a diaper nearly every day for the next 3 years of my life. That is a strange and somewhat terrifying thought. I’m sure it won’t be the last.