Our first doctor’s appointment was a few weeks ago, and we were seeing a midwife practice that is associated with Yale/New Haven Hospital. They were okay, but the head doctor made me feel uncomfortable. While trying to be nice and encouraging she also spent some time really trying to scare the shit out of us. Tests we must have, age concerns, that we should wait to tell people, all kinds of stuff said through a big fake grin and eyes that seemed to stare at the wall behind us. It was extremely unpleasant and I walked out of there feeling icky that this was the woman that was going to be delivering our baby.

It didn’t set well with Lu either, so we started talking about what we really wanted out of this experience. A home birth has always been Lu’s first choice, but that would not have happened if we stayed with this midwife practice. So we’re done with them. We want to do this our way, the way women have been doing it successfully for thousands of years. On the recommendation of our friends who have had 2 wonderful home births we went and met with another midwife practice that specializes in this.

The woman was amazing. I could tell that this was a person that celebrated the amazing beauty of childbirth as a natural, normal event. A woman that loved helping other women to have the most calm, loving, supportive and beautiful experience possible. And they are experts at it. They have all the necessary skills and equipment to deal with any situation that arises, and if things get complicated of course we will head up the road to the hospital as soon as we need to. But we won’t need to. Lu is going to excel at this. She is made to have children and she is going to have no trouble at all.

Another thing about the home birth experience is that it makes it all a whole hell of a lot more fun and interesting for me. Hospital birth = me holding her hand saying “you’re doing great!” That is until they shove me out of the way so they can do their doctor thing. Home birth = me involved involved all the way through. Preparing the pool, readying the house, gathering all the other stuff we’re going to need, but best of all I get to literally catch the baby as it emerges. This is us. This our family at its most basic and real level.

The fact of birth on a day down the line is both exciting and terrifying. But now re-imagining that day in the warmth and comfort of our own home, surrounded by women that have done this thousands of times, that truly love the experience all the way through, it takes the edge off the fear. What is going to happen is not an emergency or a surprise. They know exactly what is going to happen, and they are going to do everything they can to help us enjoy the elemental magic of birth.

Besides, if there is a more interesting way to do anything, you can bet your sweet ass Lu and I will give it a try.

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